peaceful stress

,,,that is how i would describe our trip to the vet last night. we wanted to talk to dr.b. about what has been happening with Bud over the last 6 months, and wanted to make sure that we were not overlooking something simple. i watched her as we described the ravenous obsession with his food, the changes in his behaviour, the projectile vomitting incidents (there were only 5, but still). being en eye reader, i knew what the outcome was going to be, but dr.b. did or said nothing to influence us in any way.

we have never cried so much lately. while preparing for the inevitable, one is still never quite ready for it. Bud was peaceful in the end, and it was as though he was trying to tell me it was time to let him go for a while now. (there is that 'eye thing' again). it was like he was saying, "thank you mommies" at the end. dr.b and her staff at the hospital were awesome, not rushing us, letting us take as long as we needed afterwards, and letting us know that his remains would be taken carefully away. that means alot to both k and i.

even though there are six cats to love and share of lives with, our home these last 2 days feels so empty. i guess it is our hearts that feel so empty. in time, it will be ok, but for now, for anyone who is a cat person, you will understand what a wound this is. how hard it is, and how we miss our little "scrap of cat, with the huge personality, and who has lived large in his later years".

be happy, Bud, at Rainbow Bridge, and keep company with all who went before you. reunite with Suzy and Burdoch, Merlin and Crissie, Sport and Dad will look after you all.......