sunday kind of ... ramblings

so it is sunday. the day of rest, or so it is in many places. not here, however. k and i went to work for 7am start times, and i got off early, she is still there now (her shift is done at 345p). it was busy then slow in our centre. and very sullen with the news of the merger and outsourcing that will occur within the next 6 months.

yeah, i didn't get to write about that yet, what with all about dad and stuff....you see, our company says it is costing too much to buy the cars they are presently leasing for the rental car business, so they need to cost save. to that end, they are closing half of their fredericton call centre. presently, they have 2 separate businesses here, 2 separate brands. one is closing, and there were layoffs and severance packages going around. they kept 4 supervisors on our side, and the rest will be gone within a couple of months. meanwhile, this centre as a whole employs over 900 reservations sales agents. they are going to merge into the other brand and have a staff of 400 where do the rest go? well, they are expecting 20% to just up and quit soon, the remainder will hold out for severance, and the rest of us will learn a new brand and a new booking engine to make reservations. yippee. cullin' the herd.

what does this mean for k and i? well, her job is safe for now, and mine will be transferred to her side. ps, there are gov't grants involved and the term of our side's grant is up....hmmmmm, co-incidence? NOT likely. the grant for the other brand is up in 2 years, so we are ok for that time, i hope.

so, i am going out to see mom in a little while, and i hope to be able to meet with her at the doctor's office to discuss dad tomorrow morning. i have a hard time seeing him that way, not knowing who i am, and being confused the way he is. i guess that is to be expected when one is 'dead' for a while. brain damage occurs after 6 minutes without oxygen, and we still don't really know how long he was 'gone' for.

i made a decision. i will be there for mom however i can be, but not in a roll as primary caregiver to dad or her. i simply cannot take what it would do to me. i nearly lost my mind when i did it for my in laws, and i simply haven't the strength to do it again. i don't think they would expect me to stop my life and i am going to speak to mom about it today. it is very hard on me having her an hour's drive away, i would like to see her move into the city, but she isn't ready to do that. she won't be able to look after dad at home, he would be too much for her. he simply isn't well enough. when i spoke to the nurse the other night, she said it would likely be a long time before he would be able to go home, if ever. so i guess we should get a plan in place for a special care, or nursing home facility.

my brother got all the bills looked after so mom would not have to worry about them, so it is all good from that end. and i will do what i can here. that is the best i can do i think.

i have had a tension back ache for 2 weeks now, just at the base of my neck, and my shoulders are about touching my ears by the end of the day. stress, you betcha.

but i play online, and i read your blogs, and i read your comforting comments. and i know we are not alone in this. many of you out there have the same type of issues with ailing parents. it helps to be among so many, and not a solitary buoy in the riptide of the emotional ocean.

it is getting colder now, and the lovely fall colours are beginning to tone it down. i hate when that happens. bare trees, grey days, and cold evenings. got some winter ready stuff to do, one more mowing of the lawn i think. i also want to get the air conditioner put away, and the bike, etc. it all takes time, i guess. and that a/c weighs at least a ton!

happy sunday, and thanks again for all the positive vibes....poet